If you have ever sat across from your child, watching them try to tell you something with their eyes, their hands, or even their frustration, you know that communication is so much more than just the words we speak. It is the bridge between two people. Every child is uniquely created by God with purpose and potential, and every child deserves to be understood. If teaching communication feels overwhelming right now, you are not doing anything wrong. The key is not to jump ahead. The key is to figure out where your child is today and build from there.
Communication is often like an iceberg. The words we hear are just the tip above the water. Under the surface are many earlier skills that support speech, like vocal play, imitation, attention, and understanding that communication works. This guide is meant to help you spot those foundational layers and work through them one step at a time.
How to use this guide
This is a parent-friendly, step-by-step handbook. You do not need to start at Step 7 and work backward. Instead, start by finding the highest step where your child clearly meets the "MY CHILD IS HERE IF…" checklist. If your child does not meet the "READY TO MOVE TO STEP X?" section yet, stay there a little longer and keep practicing. Progress is rarely perfectly straight, and it is very normal for a child to show pieces of more than one step at the same time.
As you read, use each section in this order:
- Read MY CHILD IS HERE IF…
- Read MY CHILD IS NOT HERE IF…
- Use the WHAT TO DO section for your goal and practice ideas
- Check READY TO MOVE TO STEP X? before moving forward
The goal is not perfection. The goal is helping your child experience communication as useful, safe, and rewarding.
Before we start
Think of communication like building a house. We do not start with the roof. We start with the foundation. If the base is not strong, everything above it becomes harder to hold up. Spoken words are like the top of the house, but underneath them are important lower levels that support success.
That means if your child is not yet using words, it does not automatically mean you should only focus on words. Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is strengthen the earlier layer underneath. When you build step by step, you give your child a structure that is more likely to last.
Step 1: The Foundation
This step is about hearing your child make sounds at all. At this stage, the sounds do not need to be clear or meaningful. We are simply looking for vocal play.
MY CHILD IS HERE IF…
- Your child makes sounds during play, even if they are not words
- Your child squeals, babbles, hums, laughs, or makes playful noises
- Your child uses their voice throughout the day in some way
- You hear repeated sound play like "ah," "oo," "mmm," or strings of babbling
MY CHILD IS NOT HERE IF…
- Your child is mostly silent during play
- Your child rarely experiments with their voice
- Your child communicates mostly by pulling, crying, reaching, or moving your hand without adding sound
- You do not hear regular babbling, squealing, or playful vocalizing
WHAT TO DO
Goal: Increase the frequency of any vocalizations.
Action items:
- Get face-to-face during play and make playful sounds with your child
- Copy the sounds your child already makes
- Use exciting toys, songs, movement, or sensory play that naturally bring out sound
- Pause during fun routines and wait to see if your child adds a noise
- Celebrate any sound, even if it is not word-like yet
READY TO MOVE TO STEP 2?
- Your child is making sounds regularly
- Your child seems comfortable using their voice during fun interactions
- You can hear enough vocal play to start shaping those sounds into communication
Step 2: Intentionality
This step is about helping your child learn that making a sound can do something. A sound can get a toy, continue a game, or bring your attention in a helpful way.
MY CHILD IS HERE IF…
- Your child makes a sound while reaching for something they want
- Your child vocalizes to continue a favorite activity
- Your child seems to notice that their sound changes what happens next
- Your child pairs sounds with looking, reaching, or other clear signs of wanting
MY CHILD IS NOT HERE IF…
- Your child makes sounds, but not in a way that seems connected to a goal
- Your child does not yet use sound to get help, get an item, or continue an activity
- Your child vocalizes randomly without directing it toward a person or purpose
- Your child relies only on physical behavior, without sound, when they want something
WHAT TO DO
Goal: Teach that communication changes the environment.
Action items:
- Hold a favorite item for a moment and wait for any sound before giving it
- When your child vocalizes, respond right away so they feel the power of communication
- Pair their sound with simple words like "ball," "go," or "more"
- Use repeatable games like bubbles, swinging, tickles, or snack routines
- Keep your expectations low at first and reward even small sound attempts
READY TO MOVE TO STEP 3?
- Your child is using sounds more purposefully
- Your child appears to understand that vocalizing can help them get something or make something happen
- You are noticing early back-and-forth communication
Step 3: Imitation Foundation
Before a child can imitate words, they often need to imitate movements with the mouth and face. This step helps build the motor planning needed for speech.
MY CHILD IS HERE IF…
- Your child watches your face during playful interaction
- Your child sometimes copies simple mouth or face movements
- Your child tolerates imitation games like blowing, sticking out the tongue, or smacking lips
- Your child seems interested in social copying games
MY CHILD IS NOT HERE IF…
- Your child rarely looks at your face during interaction
- Your child does not yet copy mouth movements
- Your child avoids or resists simple face imitation games
- Your child is not yet joining in with playful copycat routines
WHAT TO DO
Goal: Teach imitation of mouth movements.
Action items:
- Play in front of a mirror and make simple silly faces
- Try fun movements like blowing kisses, popping lips, or sticking out the tongue
- Pair actions with songs, bubbles, or games to keep it light
- Copy your child first, then model one new movement
- Keep sessions short and playful so your child feels successful
READY TO MOVE TO STEP 4?
- Your child is watching and copying simple facial or mouth movements
- Your child can participate in short imitation games
- You are seeing growing awareness of how mouths move during communication
Step 4: Speech Patterns
This step is about the rhythm and melody of speech. Before clear words, many children begin by imitating the pattern of language such as loud and soft, fast and slow, or high and low.
MY CHILD IS HERE IF…
- Your child changes tone, rhythm, or volume during vocal play
- Your child enjoys songs, sound effects, or playful voice changes
- Your child can copy simple vocal patterns, even if the sounds are not exact
- Your child seems tuned in to the musical parts of communication
MY CHILD IS NOT HERE IF…
- Your child uses a very flat or limited range of vocal patterns
- Your child does not yet copy changes in pitch, loudness, or rhythm
- Your child seems disconnected from playful sound games
- You are not hearing patterned vocal imitation yet
WHAT TO DO
Goal: Imitate rhythm, volume, and pitch.
Action items:
- Use songs, nursery rhymes, and predictable sound routines
- Model fun contrasts like whispering, shouting softly, or stretching sounds
- Clap, tap, and sing to create patterns your child can join
- Use simple vocal play like "uh-oh," "wee," "gooo," or "beep beep"
- Pause after your model and give your child time to try
READY TO MOVE TO STEP 5?
- Your child is copying parts of the music of speech
- Your child can imitate simple patterns with their voice
- Your child is showing more control over how sounds are produced
Step 5: Specific Sounds
Now you are listening for clear speech sounds, especially early sounds that are easier to see and copy, such as B, M, P, and D.
MY CHILD IS HERE IF…
- Your child can imitate at least a few specific consonant sounds
- You hear repeated use of sounds like "b," "m," "p," or "d"
- Your child tries to copy simple sound models during motivating activities
- Your child is starting to use familiar sounds on purpose
MY CHILD IS NOT HERE IF…
- Your child is vocalizing, but without clear consonant sounds
- Your child is not yet attempting specific sound imitation
- You mostly hear open vowel sounds without noticeable consonants
- Your child becomes confused when you model simple speech sounds
WHAT TO DO
Goal: Teach specific sounds in meaningful situations.
Action items:
- Pick one target sound at a time, especially B, M, P, or D
- Pair the sound with something fun and meaningful like bubbles, more, pop, or ball
- Let your child watch your mouth closely
- Keep your model short and clear
- Reinforce any close attempt, not just perfect production
READY TO MOVE TO STEP 6?
- Your child can imitate some individual sounds with support
- You are hearing clear consonants more often
- Your child is beginning to use those sounds during real activities
Step 6: Combinations
This step is about blending sounds together into simple syllables. This is where isolated sounds start sounding more like early speech.
MY CHILD IS HERE IF…
- Your child combines consonants and vowels, such as "ba," "ma," or "pa"
- Your child uses repeated syllables during play
- Your child attempts simple sound combinations when motivated
- You are hearing more organized vocal patterns instead of single sounds only
MY CHILD IS NOT HERE IF…
- Your child can make some individual sounds but does not yet blend them
- You are not hearing consonant-vowel combinations
- Your child stops after one sound instead of combining sounds together
- Sound attempts are still very isolated
WHAT TO DO
Goal: Blend sounds together into simple syllables.
Action items:
- Model easy combinations like "ba," "ma," "mo," or "pa"
- Use motivating items and routines to invite repeated practice
- Keep models brief, upbeat, and connected to real moments
- Accept approximations if they are moving in the right direction
- Repeat successful combinations often so they become familiar
READY TO MOVE TO STEP 7?
- Your child can combine sounds into syllables
- You are hearing repeated consonant-vowel patterns
- Your child is ready to shape those combinations into meaningful words
Step 7: First Words
This is the point where your child begins using those sound combinations as functional words that mean something consistently.
MY CHILD IS HERE IF…
- Your child uses a consistent sound or word to request or label something meaningful
- The sound may not be perfect, but you can tell it has a clear purpose
- Your child uses the same approximation for the same item or action
- Your child is beginning to use speech to get needs met
MY CHILD IS NOT HERE IF…
- Your child combines sounds, but not in a consistent word-like way
- A sound pattern appears once but is not used again meaningfully
- Your child is not yet using sound combinations to request, protest, or label
- You are still hearing practice sounds rather than functional words
WHAT TO DO
Goal: Shape sound combinations into functional words.
Action items:
- Start with words your child truly needs, like "more," "go," "ball," "bubbles," or "juice"
- Model the word during natural daily routines
- Reward any close attempt that clearly connects to the word
- Use the same target words often so your child hears them in context
- Focus on usefulness, not perfect pronunciation
READY TO MOVE BEYOND STEP 7?
- Your child is using one or more word approximations consistently
- Those words help your child ask, protest, label, or participate
- Communication is becoming more functional and less dependent on frustration
Tips & Tricks for Success
As you practice these steps at home, keep these reminders in mind:
- Keep language simple. Try "one-up" language. If your child is not using words, use single words. If your child uses single words, try short two-word phrases.
- Create motivation. Put favorite items where your child can see them but cannot grab them right away. This creates a natural reason to communicate.
- Follow your child's interests. Practice goes better when your child cares about the activity.
- Pause and wait. Many children need a little extra time to process and respond.
- Reinforce approximations. If your child gets even a little bit closer, count that as progress.
- Keep it playful. Short, positive practice moments usually work better than long sessions.
- Stop before it turns into pressure. Communication grows best when your child feels safe and successful.
What If My Child Gets Frustrated?
Frustration is a normal part of learning to communicate. If your child becomes upset, it usually means the step is too hard, the wait is too long, or the demand is too high for that moment. That does not mean the process is failing. It usually means you need to make the task easier.
Try this:
- Go back to a step where your child can succeed
- Shorten the expectation
- Offer more support or modeling
- Use something more motivating
- End on a small win if possible
If your child is overwhelmed, help them regulate first. Communication practice can always happen later. The goal is not to push through distress. The goal is to help your child learn that communication feels worthwhile and manageable.
What If My Child Uses AAC?
AAC, sign language, picture icons, and other communication systems are all valid forms of communication. If your child uses AAC, you can still use this guide. The same step-by-step thinking applies. You are still building intentional communication, imitation, patterning, and meaningful expression.
A few helpful reminders:
- Continue modeling communication on your child's AAC system
- Do not wait for speech before honoring AAC
- Let AAC reduce pressure while still supporting vocal development if that is appropriate for your child
- Treat all communication attempts as meaningful
- Focus on function: helping your child express wants, needs, thoughts, and connection
Final Thoughts
Communication growth is rarely as simple as "they said a word" or "they did not say a word." It is more like an iceberg. What people notice first is the part above the surface, but the larger structure underneath is what holds everything up.
If your child is still working on the lower steps, that does not mean they are behind in a hopeless way. It means they are building. And building matters. When you support the foundation, you make later communication more likely to be strong, useful, and lasting.
Take it one step at a time. Look for the level your child is showing you right now. Start there, keep it practical, and let progress grow from the bottom up.
Ready to start the journey? Contact us today to learn more about our play-based, compassionate ABA therapy services.
Leave a Reply