Starting in-home ABA therapy for your child is a big step: and if you're reading this, you've already shown incredible dedication to supporting their growth. But here's something nobody tells you: even the most loving, committed parents sometimes stumble along the way.
And that's completely okay.
The truth is, ABA therapy isn't just about what happens during scheduled sessions. It's about creating a supportive environment where your child can thrive, and that takes some learning on your part too. The good news? Most of these common mistakes are easy to fix once you know what to look for.
Let's walk through seven missteps we often see: and more importantly, how you can turn things around.
Mistake #1: Treating Therapy Sessions as "Therapist Time Only"
It's tempting to use therapy sessions as a chance to catch up on emails, start dinner, or just take a breather. You've got a professional in your home working with your child: why not step back?
Here's the thing: ABA therapy works best when you're part of the team. When parents treat sessions as something the therapist handles alone, they miss valuable opportunities to learn techniques they can use throughout the day.
How to fix it: Think of yourself as a co-pilot, not a passenger. Sit in on sessions when you can, ask questions, and watch how your therapist responds to different situations. The strategies you pick up will help you support your child's learning long after the session ends. Remember, your involvement is actually one of the strongest predictors of your child's long-term success.
Mistake #2: Inconsistent Follow-Through at Home
Your child works hard during therapy to learn a new skill: let's say requesting items using words instead of pointing. But once the therapist leaves, life gets busy, and those techniques fall by the wayside.
This inconsistency can really slow down progress. Children, especially those with autism, thrive on predictability and routine. When skills aren't reinforced across different environments, it's like taking two steps forward and one step back.
How to fix it: Work with your therapist to identify two or three specific strategies you can realistically practice between sessions. Maybe it's prompting your child to use their words at mealtimes, or following the same routine for bedtime. You don't have to be perfect: just consistent enough that your child sees these expectations everywhere, not just during therapy.
Mistake #3: Expecting Overnight Transformations
We get it. You want to see your child succeed, and when you've invested time, energy, and resources into therapy, it's natural to hope for quick results. But ABA is a marathon, not a sprint: and that can feel frustrating, especially when you're watching your child work on skills that seem unrelated to your bigger goals.
Why is your child matching shapes when you really want help with homework completion? It might not make sense at first glance.
How to fix it: Trust the process, but don't be afraid to ask questions. Your BCBA (Board Certified Behavior Analyst) has a plan, and those foundational skills often need to be in place before bigger goals become achievable. Ask for data and progress graphs: seeing the actual numbers can be reassuring when day-to-day progress feels invisible. And give yourself permission to celebrate small wins along the way.
Mistake #4: Keeping Other Family Members in the Dark
Maybe grandma thinks the therapy approach is "too different" from how she raised kids. Perhaps your partner isn't fully on board with certain strategies. Or your other children don't understand why their sibling gets treated "differently."
When family members aren't aligned, it creates confusion for your child and can undermine everything you're working toward.
How to fix it: Make family education a priority. Invite key caregivers to observe a session or two. Ask your therapist to explain: in plain, jargon-free language: why specific strategies work and how everyone can help. When the whole household understands the "why" behind the approach, consistency becomes much easier to maintain.
Mistake #5: Irregular Scheduling and Missed Sessions
Life happens. Soccer games, doctor's appointments, family emergencies: sometimes therapy has to take a backseat. But when missed sessions become a pattern, or your schedule changes constantly, it disrupts your child's ability to learn and adapt.
Think about it from your child's perspective: routine and predictability help them feel safe and ready to learn. Frequent changes can throw off that sense of security.
How to fix it: Work with your therapy provider to create a realistic schedule that fits your family's life. Build in planned breaks so you don't burn out, but protect those core therapy times as much as possible. If you know a busy season is coming up (holidays, back-to-school), communicate with your team ahead of time so you can plan together.
Mistake #6: Choosing a Therapist Without Understanding Their Approach
Not all ABA providers are the same. Some focus heavily on structured table-time activities, while others emphasize naturalistic, play-based learning. Some prioritize compliance-based goals, while others center on communication and independence.
Choosing a therapist without understanding how they work: and whether their approach aligns with your child's needs: can lead to frustration on both sides.
How to fix it: Before committing to a provider, ask questions:
- How do you structure sessions?
- What does a typical day look like for my child?
- How do you tailor treatment to individual learning styles?
- What's your philosophy on [specific concern you have]?
The right fit makes all the difference. Your child deserves a therapist whose methods align with their unique personality and your family's values.
Mistake #7: Skipping Parent Training Opportunities
Many parents don't realize that parent training is actually a core component of effective ABA therapy: not just an add-on. When caregivers don't receive proper training, strategies don't get reinforced at home, and misunderstandings about the treatment plan can arise.
How to fix it: Actively seek out parent training opportunities. Ask your BCBA for regular check-ins where you can ask questions, practice techniques, and get feedback. Don't be shy about requesting explanations in clear, everyday language: there's no such thing as a silly question when it comes to your child's care.
This collaborative approach helps skills generalize across all settings, which is ultimately what we're all working toward: your child succeeding not just in therapy, but in life.
You're Doing Better Than You Think
Here's the most important thing to remember: making mistakes doesn't mean you're failing your child. It means you're human, and you're learning right alongside them.
The fact that you're reading this article, looking for ways to improve, says everything about your commitment. In-home ABA therapy is a journey: sometimes a long and winding one: but you don't have to walk it alone.
At Pillars Behavioral Health, we believe in partnering with families every step of the way. Whether you're just starting out or looking to get more from your current therapy experience, we're here to support you.
Have questions about your child's therapy? Wondering if you're on the right track? Reach out: we'd love to help you navigate this path together.
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