When your young adult is receiving ABA therapy, you want to do everything right. You're investing time, energy, and hope into this process, and that's no small thing. But here's the truth: even the most dedicated families can accidentally fall into patterns that slow down progress or create unnecessary frustration.
The good news? These mistakes are totally fixable. Once you know what to watch for, you can make small shifts that lead to big improvements in your young adult's therapy journey.
Let's walk through seven of the most common missteps families make with ABA therapy for young adults, and more importantly, how you can turn things around starting today.
Mistake #1: Expecting Quick Results
We get it. You've done the research, found a provider, and committed to this process. Now you're ready to see results, like, yesterday.
But ABA therapy isn't a quick fix. It's a gradual process built on repetition, consistency, and small wins that add up over time. When families expect rapid transformation, they often feel discouraged or question whether the therapy is even working.
How to fix it: Shift your focus from big milestones to smaller victories. Did your young adult handle a frustrating situation slightly better this week? That's progress. Did they use a new communication strategy, even once? That counts too. Talk with your therapy team about realistic timelines and celebrate the incremental growth along the way.
Mistake #2: Taking a Passive Role in Therapy
It's tempting to hand things over to the professionals and let them handle it. After all, they're the experts, right?
While your therapy team absolutely brings essential expertise to the table, ABA works best when families are active participants. When you're not engaged in understanding goals, strategies, and what happens during sessions, it becomes harder to support your young adult outside of therapy hours.
How to fix it: Think of yourself as a partner in this process, not just an observer. Ask questions during team meetings. Request updates on what skills are being targeted. Learn the strategies being used so you can reinforce them at home. Your involvement makes a real difference in how well skills transfer to everyday life.
Mistake #3: Inconsistent Scheduling and Attendance
Life gets busy, we totally understand that. But when therapy sessions get rescheduled frequently or attendance becomes irregular, it can seriously disrupt your young adult's progress.
ABA therapy relies heavily on consistency and repetition. Skills need to be practiced regularly to stick. When there are gaps in sessions or the schedule keeps shifting, it's harder for your young adult to build momentum and retain what they're learning.
How to fix it: Treat therapy appointments like non-negotiables whenever possible. If your schedule is genuinely unpredictable, work with your provider to find solutions, maybe that means adjusting session times or finding creative ways to maintain consistency. The more regular the routine, the better the outcomes.
Mistake #4: Focusing Only on Reducing "Problem" Behaviors
When a young adult struggles with certain behaviors, it makes sense that families want those behaviors to decrease. But here's where things can go sideways: if the entire focus is on eliminating unwanted behaviors without building positive skills, therapy becomes about what your young adult shouldn't do rather than what they can do.
This approach can feel limiting and doesn't set your young adult up for long-term success.
How to fix it: Make sure your therapy plan includes skill-building goals alongside any behavior reduction targets. What life skills would help your young adult thrive? What communication strategies would make their daily life easier? A well-rounded approach addresses challenges while also expanding your young adult's toolkit for navigating the world.
Mistake #5: Not Tailoring Therapy to Your Young Adult's Individual Needs
Here's something important to remember: your young adult is a unique person with their own strengths, preferences, challenges, and goals. What works beautifully for one person might not click at all for another.
Sometimes families don't realize they can (and should) advocate for a personalized approach. If therapy feels generic or like it's following a one-size-fits-all template, that's a sign something needs to change.
How to fix it: Have honest conversations with your therapy team about your young adult's specific needs. What are their interests? What environments do they feel most comfortable in? What are their personal goals for the future? A good ABA program will tailor strategies to fit the individual, not the other way around. Don't be afraid to ask how the approach is being customized for your family.
Mistake #6: Working with Unqualified or Unsupervised Therapists
Not all ABA providers are created equal. Some families don't realize the importance of verifying credentials, which can lead to working with therapists who aren't properly trained or supervised.
This matters because the quality of therapy directly impacts outcomes. An unqualified therapist might use outdated methods, miss important nuances, or fail to adapt strategies when something isn't working.
How to fix it: Do your homework before committing to a provider. Ask whether therapists are Board Certified Behavior Analysts (BCBAs) or work under the direct supervision of one. Find out about their training, experience with young adults specifically, and how they stay current with best practices. A reputable provider will be happy to answer these questions transparently.
At Pillars Behavioral Health, we believe families deserve to know exactly who's working with their loved ones and what qualifications they bring to the table.
Mistake #7: Prioritizing Compliance Over Compassion
This one's huge, and it's something the field of ABA has been grappling with in recent years.
When therapy becomes overly focused on compliance and following instructions, it can unintentionally create anxiety, reduce autonomy, and damage the therapeutic relationship. Your young adult might technically "behave" but feel stressed, disconnected, or like their voice doesn't matter.
True progress happens when your young adult feels respected, heard, and genuinely supported, not when they're simply complying because they feel they have no other choice.
How to fix it: Look for a therapy approach that balances evidence-based strategies with genuine compassion. The best therapists build positive relationships first. They consider your young adult's emotional wellbeing alongside behavioral goals. They create space for choice, autonomy, and self-advocacy.
Ask your provider how they incorporate your young adult's preferences and voice into therapy. If the answer feels vague or dismissive, that's worth paying attention to.
Moving Forward with Confidence
If you recognized your family in any of these mistakes, please don't beat yourself up. These are incredibly common patterns, and the fact that you're here reading this means you care deeply about getting things right.
The beautiful thing about ABA therapy is that it's flexible. You can make adjustments, have conversations with your team, and shift your approach at any point in the journey. Progress isn't about being perfect: it's about staying engaged, asking questions, and advocating for what your young adult needs.
Your role in this process matters more than you might realize. When families and therapy teams work together as true partners, that's when the real magic happens.
You've got this. And if you ever need support along the way, we're here to help you figure out the next step.
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